Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Today is my one year mark at my job.

I keep typing and then erasing... I'm not sure what to write about because I'm not sure how to feel.

One year full of heartbreak, loss and pain. One year of wondering if I should stick it out or not, if being an adult means being unhappy.

A year is a long time, long enough to become comfortable with something so unnatural and uncomfortable for me. Enough time to almost convince myself it's worth it.

One year at a job that is slowly sucking all creative energy from me.

I miss colors, I miss creating. I miss talking about things that matter. I miss spending most of my time with people who care and who I care about. Office gossip is so depressing, sometimes I feel like it could suffocate me.

And the worst part is I don't know how to get out. A year is enough to scare me away from making a change, to go back to the unknown and explore, in life and in creativity.

I know I can't start over, but how do I start again?