Saturday, July 31, 2010

Sunday, July 25, 2010

so frustrating

i'm having one of those painting experiences where i work for an hour and nothing is done. all the colors i've mixed are wrong, every line i draw i can't tell if it's making more or less sense. i can't figure out where my chin is when i look in the mirror. i can't tell if the shadows on my skin are orange or brown. or purple. or red. chances are it's a combination of all of those colors, and i feel like i dont know how to see them anymore. or if i do see them i dont know how to translate them.

i just realized how rough it is going to be painting alone. no fellow painters. no professors. no opinions or advice or guidance. no talking.

that's what scares me the most. i think i move forward best when i'm talking about my art to someone who understands what i'm talking about. because a lot of times other people know what i'm trying to say before i know what i'm trying to say. and a lot of times i don't even realize i like what i'm doing until i talk about it with someone else.

am i doomed?

Monday, July 12, 2010


this is something that i've always struggled with: knowing when I'm done. With my thesis paintings I came up with a process that relied on the materials I was using to tell me when I'm done.

right now i'm painting a self portrait. i haven't truly painted from life since december... it's kind of scary. but it feels really really good. aside from the fact that i primed the back of the canvas instead of the front and the oil is soaking in, the hardest part for me is knowing when I'm done. There are so many times in every step of the process of painting that I think, "well this looks cool, i could be done." I guess what I'm trying to come to is the point where I like what's on the canvas and I feel like i can't paint it anymore. Which, weirdly, I'm not really sure I've actually done before...

so I'm going to post the process of this self portrait.